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Sit Down with Us #IamELLA



Lesbian couple Tamara and Bella make up Sit Down With Us and write for lesbian blog Dopes on the Road every Friday for #FoodieFriday. You can find their work over on Instagram @Come_sitwithus

Tamara, 28, Restaurant Manager, Hudson Valley, NY


“Growing up in an ultra conservative house, I was the golden child.  I went to church by choice multiple times a week.  I was looking to go to a Christian college but decided last minute to go to an Art School. With that being said, when I came out it could not have been more of a shock.  My one sister would not speak to me for months. My parents just couldn’t understand how I could switch from liking boys to liking girls. I was told to not tell anyone in my family and I was scolded for telling my sisters before my parents. There were a lot of things that were said during this time that I had to learn to forgive over the years. Later in life I came out to my grandmother and I was terrified! To my surprise, she said the nicest thing I have ever heard, “Oh honey! Life is too short to do anything less then what makes you happy!” She has been supportive from the moment I told her.  All my extended family has been beyond loving and inviting to me and my now girlfriend, the other half of Sit Down With Us. Over time everything has gotten better with my parents, some days are better than others.  My sister now has apologized and adores my Bella. I just hope and pray that someday everything with my family will be at the point where we can all be happy for each other.”

Bella, 27, Insurance, Hudson Valley, NY


“I grew up in a very traditional Sicilian family. My father is Greek, but the two cultures are very similar so it was easy for him to adapt to my mother’s family. My Greek family is mostly back in the mother-country. If I say “gay wasn’t even talked about in my family,” that would be an understatement. It flat out didn’t exist. I’ve always known somewhere inside of me that I was different, but I just figured I’d catch on to the ‘normal’ things girls do eventually. Only eventually never came. Through life experiences outside of an Italian eyeglass, I came to the understanding that I was gay when I was 16. Fearing the start of World War III beginning in Queens, NY, I decided not to tell anyone at the time, until I learned to love myself first. I knew that if I did tell them, and they threw me out or decided to never speak to me again, at least I had myself. In college I came out to my parents. After an extreme case of verbal diarrhea, my father told me that he loved me no matter what. My mother took it a little harder, as expected. Like Tamara, things were said during the first few years after I came out that I’ve learned to forgive. Since then, through a lot of questions and an understanding on both mine and my parent’s side, the snow has settled. If someone told me ten years ago that my life at 27 would be what it is now, my reaction would probably be something along the lines of “Yeah and I hit the lotto and have a yacht too, right?” But, having not hit the lotto (still accepting donations if anyone feels the need to contribute to the Bella’s fake lotto winnings fund) my life is absolutely amazing. My parents are unbelievable human beings that have shown me more about life now in my 20s then they have when I was younger. We are stronger than I have ever imagined we could be. As for being gay, it’s something that is still a little weird, but they absolutely adore Tamara, the other half of Sit Down With Us. The questions still come and there are still things that they might not understand or agree with, but the unconditional support that I never thought I would have is there.”

Our Message

Tamara: “GIVE IT TIME!” The first few days, months or years can be hell!  But give it time.  Everyone has a way of healing differently.  Remember they are your parents if they want to be in your life they will find a way to.

Bella: “You are your OWN person. Don’t ever let anyone in this world tell you what you can or cannot do. Find that confidence and strength within yourself because, with it, there is nothing in this world that will stop you from doing or being anyone you want.”

What is your mantra for life?

Tamara – I’ll quote my grandmother for this one, “Life’s too short to do anything less than what makes you happy.” Bella – “Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.”

Who inspires you?

Meg from Dopes on the Road has been an incredible mentor for us and we are learning so much from her. We have the amazing opportunity to write for Dopes on the Road every Friday for #FoodieFriday.


Instagram: @sit_downwithus Pinterest: Articles: FoodieFriday with Dopes on the Road



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